I wana kill myself
Well, here we go again.........
The main thing is that the Nationals are here again. Well, representing my school in the 400m event. Well, actually I was a little scared anout today's race as my coach would really hope that I could get into finals. Then the other thing that I was worried about before today was that I was afraid that I would have the wrong feelings to start the race. Well, I was scared that I might feel too scared, too anxious or too worried or worst still, maybe I won't feel anything at all. Its usually the way you feel that determine the outcome of your race that's why we usually describe most sports or things that "It's all in the Mind"
Then today, was my event and the most crappy part about it was that there was 25 peolple in the heats and they need to eliminate 1 person in order to make up the 24 people in the Semis. At that point in time, I was so worried that I might be the one that will be elimintaed, the last one on the list. then I was about to get scared and all when my coach explain to us that we feel anxious or scared is because there's uncertainty about the turn out but when we come to think of it there isn't much of an uncertainty at all. If you trained hard, and are fit etc, you will definitely do well. Throughout the whole time, part of me can't believe that it has already started and was practically slapping and pinching myself during warm up. I tried to come myself down by reminding myself that its's all baout putting your best foot forth for the college. And I seriously think I did just that. I clocked a personal best electronic time and got into the semis. Is that truly mey best? well, I don't really know.....remember that whole crap that you could be in denial without knowing it? Well, maybe it was.
Then from the results of the semis and my performance during the heats, I seriously feel kind of disheartened as a part of me is almost so certain that I can't make it to the finals. Maybe it is really true aand that I needn't the day and the hour to come to let me know it but still.....I shall continue to remind myself that I will give my utmost best for the college. Hopefully, I retand this correct mood that I had todayafor the semis and be evern more agressive. Hope to clock another personal best timing....
Ok then....will keep you informed. now, let's go to the philosopical stuff of today.
The main thing is that the Nationals are here again. Well, representing my school in the 400m event. Well, actually I was a little scared anout today's race as my coach would really hope that I could get into finals. Then the other thing that I was worried about before today was that I was afraid that I would have the wrong feelings to start the race. Well, I was scared that I might feel too scared, too anxious or too worried or worst still, maybe I won't feel anything at all. Its usually the way you feel that determine the outcome of your race that's why we usually describe most sports or things that "It's all in the Mind"
Then today, was my event and the most crappy part about it was that there was 25 peolple in the heats and they need to eliminate 1 person in order to make up the 24 people in the Semis. At that point in time, I was so worried that I might be the one that will be elimintaed, the last one on the list. then I was about to get scared and all when my coach explain to us that we feel anxious or scared is because there's uncertainty about the turn out but when we come to think of it there isn't much of an uncertainty at all. If you trained hard, and are fit etc, you will definitely do well. Throughout the whole time, part of me can't believe that it has already started and was practically slapping and pinching myself during warm up. I tried to come myself down by reminding myself that its's all baout putting your best foot forth for the college. And I seriously think I did just that. I clocked a personal best electronic time and got into the semis. Is that truly mey best? well, I don't really know.....remember that whole crap that you could be in denial without knowing it? Well, maybe it was.
Then from the results of the semis and my performance during the heats, I seriously feel kind of disheartened as a part of me is almost so certain that I can't make it to the finals. Maybe it is really true aand that I needn't the day and the hour to come to let me know it but still.....I shall continue to remind myself that I will give my utmost best for the college. Hopefully, I retand this correct mood that I had todayafor the semis and be evern more agressive. Hope to clock another personal best timing....
Ok then....will keep you informed. now, let's go to the philosopical stuff of today.
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